In 1995, Daniel Goleman came out with his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence. In it he listed five character traits and competencies that are at the heart of being emotionally intelligent. They are: knowing one’s emotions, managing your emotions effectively, motivating yourself, recognizing the emotions of others and handling relationships with others well. Abbreviated EQ (emotional […]
Virtually everyone is familiar with Reinhold Niebuhr’s quote: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” There are lots of things over which we have no control, over which we are powerless, and when we refuse […]
Dear Neil: What is wrong with women? My last several attempts at having an intimate relationship have all failed, largely because I keep encountering damaged women who push away having a close, intimate relationship with a man. One woman was recently raped and was afraid of getting close with a man. Another had a drinking […]
How ethically intelligent are you? Take the following quiz, and then I’ll discuss the subject. 1. You take your 12 year old to the movies. At the box office, you see a sign that says: “Children up to 11: $6.00. Adults: $12.00.” The movie theater’s management thus considers your son to be an adult. What […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. If you wish to raise an emotionally intelligent child, you’re going to have to get good at being your child’s emotion coach. Emotional coaching consists of the following steps: Being aware of the child’s emotions. Emotional awareness means that you recognize when you’re feeling an emotion, […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to grow up in a home where your parents expected you to always be cheerful, happy and calm. The trouble is, things keep happening in your life that makes it nearly impossible to keep up a happy […]
Dear Neil: I am a high school senior, straight “A” student, and I consistently test very high on IQ scores. But I am struggling socially—with girls and with other guys. Girls don’t seem to like me, and guys avoid me and think I’m “nerdy.” How can I excel so well academically and still feel so […]