A Valentine’s Exercise Have you ever wondered how people deepen the intimacy and closeness in their relationships? Try this Valentine’s exercise, which will allow you to “interview” your intimate partner—and hopefully assist you in gaining a greater depth of understanding and closeness in your relationship. If you’d like to find out more information about any […]
Lack of Sex Requires Heart to Heart
Dear Neil: A few years ago, my husband of 22 years wanted sex and I didn’t, and he tried to physically force me to have sex. When that did not work, he pushed me out of bed. My father was a physically and verbally abusive man, and this may be part of the reason why […]
Clearing The Air in Your Relationship
Dear Neil: My relationship with the man I’ve lived with for seven years can get very volatile at times, and tension can build uncomfortably high between us. There is a fair amount of distancing, withdrawal and irritability between us. But both of us are conflict avoiders, and neither of us is good at bringing tensions […]
Quiz: These Are My Needs
What are your needs in an intimate relationship? This is an exercise in self-discovery, adapted from Philip McGraw’s The Relationship Rescue Workbook (Hyperion). As you recognize and acknowledge your needs, you create a path toward getting those needs met. For every need that applies to you, put X on the line to the left of it. […]
Defining The Conflicts in Your Relationship Part 2
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. What are the issues, conflicts or problems in your relationship? Underline all that apply: Unpleasant fights have occurred between us recently. There are more fights; fights seems to come out of nowhere; anger and irritability have crept into our relationship; we get into conflicts where we […]
What Are The Conflicts/Issues in Your Relationship? Part 1
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. What are the issues, conflicts or problems in your relationship? Take the following questionnaire to find out. Underline all that applies: We are becoming emotionally distant. We have difficulty just simply talking to each other; we are staying emotionally in touch with each other less; I […]
Quiz: Determine Your Level of Relationship Satisfaction
Take this quiz to determine how satisfied you are in your intimate relationship. For each of the 16 relationship traits listed below, rate each trait from the following two scales. SATISFACTION SCALE: How satisfied are you with each of these aspects of your relationship? 5: Enthusiastic—it couldn’t be any better 4: Quite satisfied 3: It’s […]
How Does a Couple Deepen The Intimacy and Commitment Between Them?
Dear Neil: I have lived with my boyfriend for 10 months. A couple of weeks ago he went out with a long-time female friend of his, and he didn’t get home until 3 a.m. on a Tuesday night. I questioned him about where he was, and he said “at a bar,” which I later found […]
Seeker-Sought
“[My wife] says that she no longer loves me, does not trust me, and does not want to be around me. It is under these conditions that I am trying to salvage the marriage,” writes a reader from rural Wisconsin. “I have made what I feel are positive steps toward our future together, [and] I […]