This is a preview. The full article appears in Neil's book: Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship
Most men and women find that erotic words and voice tone are important ingredients in their arousal. Called “verbal foreplay” by Bonnie Gabriel in the book The Fine Art of Erotic Talk (Bantam Books), she says words are wonderful aphrodisiacs. “Through words, you can stimulate the pleasure centers in your partner’s mind so they send shivers of sensual delight through his entire body. Through words, you can help her become more relaxed and receptive to your touch. Through words, you can ignite his erotic imagination or lift her to the heights of unbridled passion. And through words, you can melt the barriers that may be keeping you and your lover from experiencing the profound joy of a sacred sexual union.”
Interested? Close your eyes for a moment and imagine that your beloved, or someone to whom you’re very attracted, is calling out your name. First imagine that there is an undertone of “you’re very precious to me” in his or her voice. Notice how the uttering of your name in this context makes you feel. Now, imagine that the message your lover is conveying with the repeated calling of your name is “I want you now.” Does that generate different feelings and reactions in your body?
This is an example of erotic talk, which Gabriel defines as any verbal or vocal expression that generates or intensifies passion.
To increase your skill in this area, Gabriel offers the following exercises:
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