If you wish to have a “happily ever after” relationship, here are a series of intimacy skills that you will need: Treat your your spouse/partner with kindness and friendliness, and afford him/her the benefit of doubt. Be true to your word, clarify the limits of what you can do, and respect differences. (Frequently we want to […]
By far the most common complaint marriage counselors hear is the statement: “We can’t communicate.” There are many reasons why communication stops or becomes superficial and brittle, including poor conflict resolution, problem solving, compromising and negotiating skills; withholding information; keeping secrets from each other and becoming defensive—to name a few. But one of the most […]
Let’s say your beloved dog dies, and you are heartsick. As you tell different people of your loss, notice your emotional reactions and your gut feelings to the following responses: “I’m sorry for your loss.” “You’ll get over it in time.” “Your dog is in a better place now.” “Are you going to get another […]
Here are the basic intimacy skills a healthy intimate relationship requires of us: That I communicate with you the very best I can. Good communication takes place when I put aside my own thoughts, feelings and needs for a while to concentrate my attention on you while you are speaking. When I listen, I give […]
Dear Neil: I’ve been married for 37 years. My husband no longer notices me. For Christmas, he bought me a book I’d already read, the same calendar I’d already purchased and a lovely pair of earrings. I had told him about the book and calendar when I read and bought them. Last evening, I put on […]
Dear Neil: I have been with my fiancé for over a year now. We are expecting our first child shortly. I moved to his town to be with him, and I just don’t like it. The town we are in is very small, and it feels like there are no opportunities here. We are living […]