This is a preview. The full article appears in Neil's book: Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship

Do you think you are controlling? Do other people tell you that you are too controlling? Do your relationships have a history of control issues or power struggles? Have lovers and/or spouses objected to you making important decisions without them? Do you take charge of the money in your household and demand explanations for expenditures you haven’t agreed to?

Take this quiz to gauge how controlling you are.

Answer the following questions using this scale:
1 = rarely or never
2 = seldom
3 = sometimes
4 = often
5 = very often

  1. Do you react negatively or defensively when someone offers you constructive criticism or makes a request of you to do something different?
  2. Do you feel uncomfortable when someone gets too close to you emotionally? Do you push away when things are close?
  3. Are you a “back-seat” driver?
  4. Are you the one who has to drive virtually all the time?
  5. In stressful situations, or when things don’t go according to plan, are you quick to anger or irritability?
  6. Do you find it difficult to trust other people?
  7. In a relationship, do you get your way most of the time? Are things done your way most of the time?
  8. In a relationship, do you want to know where your intimate partner is at all times?
  9. In a relationship, are you prone to jealousy?
  10. Are you a perfectionist, or do you set very high standards for yourself?

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Tagged: control   controller   controlling  

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