This is a preview. The full article appears in Neil's book: Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship

Note:  This is the first of a three-part series.

Below are questions designed to help you discover how comfortable you are in receiving love.  Rank each item with S for “sometimes,” O for “often,” or R for “rarely” or N for “never.”

  1. ___ Do you feel uncomfortable when somebody brags about you?
  2. ___ Do you feel negative toward someone else who is bragged about?
  3. ___ Do you get gifts and then feel obligated?
  4. ___ Do you devalue the gifts others give you?
  5. ___ Do you deflect compliments when you get them?
  6. ___ Do you ask for something, get it, and then find something wrong with it?
  7. ___ Do you find yourself mainly remembering only the “bad times”?
  8. ___ Does it seem to you that no one wants you to have what you want?
  9. ___ Do you say “I want you to offer it,” and when your partner does, you say your partner offered it only because you asked for it?
  10. ___ Do you feel uncomfortable when another person is getting all the attention?
  11. ___ Do you feel like “nothing is ever good enough”?
  12. ___ Do you feel uncomfortable wanting things for yourself?
  13. ___ Do you say you don’t want it then complain about not getting it?
  14. ___ Do you see everyone else as having what they want?
  15. ___ Do you have trouble accepting other’s positive evaluations of your worth and your ability?
  16. ___ Do you feel uncomfortable giving something to yourself?

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