This is a preview. The full article appears in Neil's book: Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship

Dear Neil: I was wondering if you have a Wife 101 column to go with your Husbandry 101 column. What are the equivalent rules for women?

Committed Lady in Australia

Dear Australia: Here they are.

Many women adopt a passive attitude toward romance; they tend to think of courtship, romance and seduction as something a man does to them. It’s a man’s job to woo you and make you feel valued, cherished and beautiful. It’s a man’s job to bring you flowers, open doors for you, compliment you, wine and dine you and seduce you.

But in truth, romance works best when it is reciprocal. Reciprocal romance means that a woman also needs to woo her man, as well as court him, nurture him, support him and encourage him. She also needs to be a seductress, not just the seduced.

The following are a list of “rules” for women who are committed to being the best wife or girlfriend they can be. If you do your very best in your relationship day in and day out, you’ll be a happier woman, you’ll reduce the chance that he might cheat, you’ll increase the probability of the two of you staying together, you’ll be a great role model for your children and you will have achieved something that very few have accomplished. Here are some of the rules for women who are in a committed relationship:

Make sure that you communicate positive, kind, supportive, friendly, empathetic and compassionate messages to your man far more than critical, negative, angry, judgmental and unfriendly messages.

Give to your man more than you take. Form the habit of giving, serving, pleasing and nurturing. You cannot take more than you give, or you risk drying up the reservoir of good will.

Be more fun. Find one or two fun things to do every week that the two of you can do together. Kids can join in, but not all the time. A couple needs some alone adult time to simply enjoy each other’s company.

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Tagged: romance   romantic intelligence   rules for women in a relationship  

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