This is a preview. The full article appears in Neil's book: Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship

Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two

Underneath all our differences, men and women both want the same things: to be loved, cared for, respected, appreciated and desired. To have a place of safety and security where we can be ourselves, and where we can grow and mature. And we all want our intimate relationship to be outrageously romantic. I certainly do. Don’t you?

Imagine how you would feel if, in the middle of a party of other social event, she turned to you and said “I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” Or if he said “I’m glad I married you.” Imagine playing footsies under the table in an elegant restaurant, charging him 20 kisses for you making dinner—or for him taking your car in and getting your tires rotated. Or imagine him kissing your hand like you were British royalty. Or if she ran her hands under hot water before she joined you in bed.

Those are called romantic gestures, and they are one of the things that will put a bounce in your step and make you feel intoxicated with warm, loving, intimate and lustful feelings.

In honor of Valentine’s week, here is a continuation of “secrets” for how to turn your relationship into a love affair all over again, courtesy of Gregory J. P. Godek in his book 1001 Ways to Be Romantic (Sourcebooks Publishers):

  • Learn what she likes/wants. Get it for her, but hold onto it for several weeks (or months). This gives her time to forget about it, or to think you have forgotten. Surprise her with it when she least expects it. And don’t give practical items (such as a toaster oven or sweatshirt) as a gift for any romantic occasion.
  • Call your lover on the phone. Make up a love song on the spot and sing it to her. Make up the words and the tune—and just keep singing. It doesn’t have to make any sense or be musically talented. You’ll generate laughter as well as appreciation.
  • Write reminders to yourself in your calendar or smart phone—two weeks in advance of her birthday, anniversary and any other important occasion—so important dates don’t sneak up on you. You can then be prepared to send a card, buy a gift or make a reservation.

To continue reading: Buy the Book

Has your relationship turned cold and distant? Neil’s book Love, Sex, and Staying Warm can help you rekindle your passion.

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