This is a preview. The full article appears in Neil's book: Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship

Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Click here for part two

We all know that it feels more intimate to be connected to the person (or people) we care about and love.  Much less understood is how a couple who starts out with lots of love, erotic energy and hope—lose their close connection—and begin the painful process of falling out of love and feeling disconnected from one another.

In order to figure out how the process of disconnection has worked in your life, let me invite you to explore the various ways you disconnect.  Look at the following list of disconnecting behaviors, taken from Pat Love’s book The Truth About Love—and check the ones you use:

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